


last goodbye

by marvelthismarvelthat



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 6x12 coda, Angst, Grief/Mourning, it's just sad, ok honestly idk how else to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 16:24:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20312497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelthismarvelthat/pseuds/marvelthismarvelthat
Summary: In the moments following Abby's death, Raven fights for the opportunity to say goodbye properly and gives her the goodbye she deserves.





	last goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> *waves shyly* first time posting for the 100, so maybe i'm a liiiiittle nervous.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Abby fell, hitting the ground with a deafening thud. 

Raven couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but sob on the ground as she watched life drain out of Abby’s eyes. 

It’d been like her whole being had frozen in place. 

Until Russell spoke, ordering the guards surrounding them to take Abby’s body into the next room to put the memory drive in.

It was like a surge of electricity struck her, making Raven jolt into action, rocking up onto her hands and knees. She had to get to Abby before they took her. She had to say goodbye.

“Wait— wait! Please— don’t take her yet!” Raving tried to crawl toward Abby, but didn’t get far before a guard took hold of her again and hauled her off the ground, gripping her bicep with bruising force. “No, please, please! Russell, wait— Let me give her our last rites.  _ Please. _ ”

She cut off, a wave of sobs taking over her as she struggled against the guard, one of her hands reaching in Abby’s direction and grasping at the air as if she could draw her closer by sheer force of will.

Russell turned to her, an odd mix of annoyance and pity on his face. “There’s no time for that. I’m sorry.”

“You took  _ everything _ from her! Her daughter, her  _ life _ —” A strangled gasp came rushing out of her throat as she spoke it out loud, the realization hitting her like a ton of bricks. Abby was gone. “Please let me give her this. Let me say goodbye.”

The muscle in Russell’s jaw twitched as he ground his teeth, his eyes locked on Raven, almost as if trying to find any sign that her intentions weren’t pure. A beat passed, then he nodded. “Let her do what she must.”

Instantly, the guards surrounding Abby stepped away, while the one holding Raven let go, leaving her to fall to the ground once more.

For a moment, Raven was frozen on her knees, unable to move as a nearly overwhelming wave of grief washed over her, making blood rush in her ears as her breath came in short gasps. She was vaguely aware of Jackson calling out to her, his words barely intelligible through his sobs, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. If she did, she’d break completely.

And she couldn’t do that.

Not yet.

Not until she gave Abby her goodbye.

She deserved that much from her.

So she took a deep breath, willing her heart to slow and the tightness in her chest to lessen. Then she’d slowly begun to crawl over to where Abby was lain, eyes open, staring into nothingness. The vacant look a stark reminder that despite the rise and fall of her chest, Abby was gone.

Raven couldn’t help the shiver that ran through her as she grabbed Abby’s hand, finding that she was warm. Just as she had been when Raven had hugged her earlier. Just like her own mother had been when she’d found her in their quarters. The realization made her gag, her crying escalating to loud hiccups. She only just managed to pull herself closer, so she could press her forehead gently against Abby’s, willing her to give any signs of life.

But she didn’t. She just remained unmoving.

It didn’t seem real. Abby had always seemed larger than life. Like somebody who death could not touch. She was a survivor. And now she was gone, taken by a man armed with nothing but a needle and syringe.

It was senseless.

Raven swallowed past the surge of anger that rose within her, and fought to gather herself, failing to contain her hiccupping sobs as her body shook. She could feel Russell’s eyes on her, boring into the back of her skull. Raven knew his patience was running thin and that needed to find a way to say goodbye before it was too late.

Tears fell onto Abby’s face as Raven closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath, letting all the love she had for Abby bubble to the surface. “In peace may you leave the shore. In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey on the ground.” She paused, biting down on her bottom lip to keep herself from dissolving into sobs again, not quite managing it. “May we— May we meet again.”

Clearing her throat, Raven drew away and pressed a kiss to Abby’s forehead, then used a gentle hand to close her eyes. “ _ Yu gonplei ste odon _ .” She sniffled, smoothing back Abby’s hair. “I love you. So much. I’m  _ so _ sorry I didn’t say it before.”

Part of her wanted to curl protectively around Abby and never let go, because she knew what came next. If she let Russell have her, they’d put someone else in her body. And Raven honestly wasn’t sure if she could bear to look into Abby’s eyes and not see  _ her. _

But Abby’s last wish had been for her and Jackson to remain unharmed and alive, so she sat up, squaring her shoulders and absently nodding in Russell’s direction, eyes not leaving Abby’s face. Immediately guards descended on them, two grabbing Raven and pulling her roughly to stand, as the rest picked up Abby’s body and hoisted it onto a stretcher.

As she watched them wheel Abby away, Raven’s brief resolve crumbled and she sagged against the men restraining her, vision blurring with tears as a whimper broke free of her, her body shaking. After her mother, after Finn, she’d never thought she’d get another chance at family again. Then Abby in all her righteousness had come along, barging into her life and stubbornly making a home for herself despite Raven’s protestations. Just like that she’d suddenly had someone who cared for her again--a person who’d loved her for who she was, as a mother should. 

Abby had been right, she wasn’t her mother. But she’d done more for Raven than the woman who birthed her ever had.

Raven hadn’t been anywhere near ready to lose her. Especially not after so long without her. Especially not seconds after the wall between them had finally broken down.

But the universe hadn’t cared.

It never did. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you have a minute, please stop by the comments and let me know what you thought! i guarantee it'll make my day <3


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